ulsan is about 2 hours away from daegu by bus which isn't terribly far. that's driving from inner-korea to a nice beach in the time it takes to get from cincinnati to columbus. see how easily you disappointment columbus? see how grandly you fall short of what two hours could be? you make me sick, columbus! sick! anyways, 2 hours isn't so bad, but the first thing i noticed when boarding the bus was the obvious lack of any sort of restroom. could be foreshadowing!
our first stop on our tour of ulsan was to visit the ulsan onggi museum. onggi is a traditional style of clay pot typically used to hold grains or other types of foodstuffs (although there was a particularly large example that was meant to be used as a toilet - i believe the placard said it was for the containment of human excrement to be exact). after a quick tour we headed to our second stop, a lighthouse on the eastern sea. although the korean teacher at my school taught me the name of the place about twenty times i can't recall it now for the life of me. it's apparently famous for watching the sun rise on new years because its one of the eastern most points of korea.
then onto the main event - fresh sushi and soju. korean sushi isn't really the same as the rolled style that most americans (myself included) are used to. chunks of cut up raw fish are brought out to you on giant leaves and you eat them with various dipping sauces. i'm a pretty big fan of sushi but for some reason korean style sushi just rubs me the wrong way. it's a little bland so it tends to be a mush of texture in your mouth unless you use one of the sauces (which im not a huge fan of). it might also be a subconscious aversion. the last time i had this style sushi was with the principal, vp, head teacher and p.e. teacher from my school. they fed me so much soju i had the worst hangover the next day - a pile of raw fish sitting in my stomach, sloshing around with korean rubbing alcohol. anyways, i still ate my share but i tried sticking mainly to beer as i thought it would help curb the uncomfortable memory of soju and sushi. try as i might though the principal would just not let me have my way and so soon enough we were slugging back shots of soju and slamming down glasses of poktanju, a bomb style drink with soju and beer. still, i don't think i drank that much and was relatively sober for the bus ride back. and yet, a bit of drunkeness was the least of my worries for that 2 hour voyage back to daegu.
rewind back to my first impression of our tour bus - no toilet. no toilet for two hours. admittedly, i am my father's son (which is a nice way of saying i have to pee a lot when i drink), but i've never had many problems when it comes to powering through a strong desire to take a leak. even now, im pretty sure i had some kind of bladder or kidney infection brought about by the potent mix of soju and fresh fish direct from the ocean. whatever the cause - infection or just too much to drink - i was soon bent over on the bus from the worst pain ever caused by the need to pee. it felt as if the whole of my insides would burst open and spray all over the other teachers. i begged my teacher to ask the driver to stop at a rest stop. this was about 30 minutes into the drive back.
we stopped but curiously, perhaps out of defiance for treating it with such neglect over these past few months and especially this night, my bladder would not cooperate. i knew i had to pee and yet so little was actually produced. disappointed and afraid, i headed back to the bus. after the rest the teachers decided it was my turn to sing a song (there was a built in noraebang in the bus, it was a noraebus). i wanted to go with something simple and quick that the teachers might be familiar with. i chose the song 'girl' by the beatles because i think its beautiful and i know the words. apparently i chose poorly. although i didn't find out until the next day, most of the teachers though the song was pretty flat and a little boring. my bad korea! i'm sorry i don't meet your karaoke expectations! did i mention my bladder had almost burst? did i mention my failure to properly address this problem?
fast-forward about an hour, through an excellent version of some k-pop song by my co-teacher ji won (apparently an accomplished and much admired singer), and here i am again, doubled over in my seat with terrible pains in my lower half. ashamed but helpless, i once again beg my co-teacher to ask the driver to stop. unfortunately we were only 20 minutes or so away from our destination and she doesn't see it fit to stop. i try to muster a bit of the british steel i've heard so much about but alas, i am american, not british at all, and it does not work. i am at my wits end. desperate things are about to transpire. if you have any pride in america i beg you not to read this next part. turn away. spare yourself the shame of one of your fellow citizens so that it might not also become your own.
not knowing what else to do, i suggested to my co-teacher, a small south korean mother of one, to-be of two, if it would be okay (as if its ever okay) to pee in a bottle in the back of the bus. yes! i did! and i did! everyone knew. there were no secrets on the bus that night. and although they all looked away, i feel it was not out of respect of my privacy, but in shame of what another human being had come to. only one teacher did not move. the same head teacher i had sushi with before. he was asleep in the back row from having had too much to drink. and as i peed in a bottle, he woke up, looked at me, gave me a knowing smile and said, "i understand." and went back to sleep. i feel that maybe he did understand. and in those few words, i felt the other teachers might also. either that or im just the freakish american now. what are you going to do aside from shrug it off and make a post about it so all the internet can read about your shameful korean experiences?
here are some pictures (none of me peeing in a bottle though):
the largest post box in south korea - i guess they have these sort of things too.
if you look into the distance you can see the beautiful smoke stacks of ulsan's industry centers
휘 (pronounced 'hwey') is the korean word for sushi. 게 (pronounced 'gae') is the korean word for crab. i was getting a korean lesson with fish sauce.
this is the first grade teacher who teaches me korean. her name is chun young-su. she's doing her best to introduce me to jesus although i keep trying to tell her i went to catholic school for 12 years. unfortunately she speaks about as much english as i do korean.
the p.e. teacher at my school and all-around good guy, kim hwan sun. we're drinking buddies. noraebus in the background.
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